|
"I'll Take The 12th
Warrior. He's More
Entertaining." |
 |
Directed by John
McTiernan - Written by
Michael Crichton,
William Wisher Jr.
Starring Antonio
Banderas, Omar Sharif,
Distributed by Buena
Vista/New Films - 1999-
102mins - Rated R |
|
Jacob Hall's
Review
|
 |
D- |
|
| |
|
Fear reigns. |
| |
There
are stories about "The 13th Warrior." Stories about how it went vastly
over-budget and over-schedule on a disastrous shoot. Stories about how
it's original test screenings were so unwatchable that director John
McTiernan was asked to step aside and Michael Crichton (whose novel
"The Eaters of the Dead" was the source material for the film) was
asked to come on, do re-shoots and re-edit the film. He also
completely scrapped the musical score and had a new one written
quickly to meet his deadline.
This is a bad omen for a film. When you hear of a string of events
like this, the chance of the film royally stinking are about 99/100.
"The 13th Warrior" falls very easily into that 99.
The story is about an Arab (the terribly miscast Antonio Banderas) who
for loose and poorly described reasons finds himself among a tribe of
Vikings who set out to defend a village from evil creatures that kill
anyone in their path. I began to grow skeptical of the film's quality
when I heard the cheesy accents and viewed the horrendous overacting.
I became confused when random things that weren't explained suddenly
happened. I laughed my ass off when Banderas manages to learn the
Nordic language in a few days by "listening." I got a headache from
watching the jerky and horribly shot battle sequences. There is so
much wrong with this film. It wallows in every cliche, it drowns in
bad special effects, it is torn in half by a weak climax that is
nothing more than a rip-off of "The Seven Samurai."
I would have expected so much more from John McTiernan. This is the
man who gave us "Predator," "Die Hard," and "The Hunt for Red
October." For shame, man.
This is one of the few Crichton novels I haven't read, and based on
the film, I might as well skip it. Hollywood has yet to do a Crichton
novel justice ("Jurassic Park" was good, but wildly changed in every
dramatic fashion; "The Lost World" and "Timeline" speak for
themselves) and I still wait for a truly great adaptation. But
considering that his genre is is science fiction (and occasionally
action/horror, like this one), Hollywood will always try to turn his
intelligent and magnificently entertaining novels into box office
clutter. |
| |
|
© Written by Jacob Hall -
Email
Me! |
TC Candler's Comment
n/a
Richard Propes' Comment
I didn't
really expect more out of McTiernan. Perhaps
that's why I was happier with what I did get?
Seriously, this film is nothing special but it
seemed better than a D- to me.
|
