I recall reading the storybook "The Polar Express" many years ago, perhaps when I was in the first grade. Even as a young lad, I didn't care for the story. It struck me as boring and unoriginal. Sure, it LOOKED pretty, but there was very little substance.

So when I learned that a film version of the book was being made, I had to wonder: How are they going to do this? The book contained only enough substance to stretch across 20 pages or so. A full length film? Can't be done.

The result is a strange and bloated film. The stretch marks really show. The core story is the same, but tacked on is action scene after action scene after action scene. The original story is really too simplistic and cliched to translate to film, but that can be handled by capturing the beautiful artwork of the book, right?

Well, perhaps, but you can't tell because of the animation at work here. Director Robert Zemeckis uses motion-capture technology here. For those unfamiliar with the process, it involves actors getting into jumpsuits and little balls attached to key areas of the body. They are then filmed doing their actions and then animated over to make them characters and add in backgrounds (this was the same technology involved to make Gollum in "Lord of the Rings"). This is used to try to replicate absolute realism and the result is, um, well, disasterous to say the least.

The story of "The Polar Express" involves a young boy who begins to doubt the existence of Santa Claus. Then, one Christmas Eve, a large train pulls up in front of his house. The conductor invites the boy to board and go on a journey to the North Pole. The conductor is played by Tom Hanks in a role that belongs in a better movie. In addition to the conductor, Hanks also plays Santa Claus, the boy's father, a strange Hobo and he did the motion capture for the young boy. Hanks slips into each role with remarkable ease and he saves this movie from a lower grade.

The list of what bothers me about "The Polar Express" is a long one, but I will attempt to be as brief and concise as possible.

STORY

As mentioned above, the stretch marks show. You don't take a story as short as this and extend it to the 100 minute mark. It just doesn't work. Robert Zemeckis extends the story in the most simplistic way possible: every five minutes or so, the train encounters a problem that puts everyone's lives in danger. Within minutes, the problem is solved and the film moves on to the next steep drop, or the next derailment, or an army of Caribou that seem to have temporary headlights (don't ask). It strikes me as strange, that a trip to the North Pole, a magical and wonderful place for children, is filled with such danger. Why is a train that is supposed to bring the kids joy seem so intent on terrifying them? Even when the reach the North Pole, the danger doesn't cease. I really expected more from the man who made "Forrest Gump" and "Back to the Future."

ANIMATION

Does some of the settings and characters look real? Yes. Does that mean it's good? No. If I want real looking characters, I go see a live action film. When I see an animated film, I want to see the world from a strange and fantastic perspective. Note the infinitely superior "The Incredibles," a film with animation that never looked real, but captured a true comic book feeling. The reality of "The Polar Express" truly detracts from the fantasy of the story. It's also worthy to note that the motion capture process may creat realistic faces, but it can't isntil life. Sure, that may look like Tom Hanks, but missing is the life, the feeling of a real human being. By creating characters from scratch, "The Incredibles" could draw life into their characters. But by modeling their characters off of pixel readings, the makers of "The Polar Express" have created zombies with expressionless, creepy eyes and mouths that often don't fit the voices.

ATMOSPHERE AND CHARACTERS

Here's my final string of complaints, bear with me. First off, the characters. No character has a stable personality. One moment, the Conductor is a kindly man, the next he seems naturally mean and vicious. Most of the other characters have your standard movie cliche personalities (the nerd, the loner, etc) and what befalls them is preposterous and ridiculous. The character do random and ridiculous things for the sake of setting up action scenes. There is also a creepy and out of place hobo who is one moment a villain and a hero the next moment. His changing character is never explained and his existence doesn't make any sense. There is also a lonely little boy who we are supposed to sympathize with, but I found him to be more sociopathic and frightening than lonely.

Then there's the North Pole. Perhaps I'm stretching things here, but Santa's city seems to be in the middle of Nazi Germany based on the atmosphere of the city and it's citizens (I'll be happy to go into further depth if you ask). I think I may be running out of typing space, but I don't want to forget Santa's elves; strange little beings that are far creepier than any other horror movie character I've seen for quite some time. They all look alike, speak in New Jersey accents, cackle a lot, and seem to have an insidious and evil nature beneath their waxy, motion captured faces.

Overall, "The Polar Express" is a sloppy, unintentionally creepy and unintention-ally hilarious mess that failed to entertain me on the regular levels. I can't say it was a complete waste of my time, though. Although I am usually silent and respectful while a view a film, this was too big of a target to ignore. At several points, I silently commented to my viewing partner on what we were watching and each comment from either of us was more entertaining than the entire film. "The Polar Express" is so open to parody that I hope someone gets to it soon before it is out of audience's minds.

Which won't be too long from now.
 

© Written by Jacob Hall

How We Rated This Film TC Candler - B- Richard Propes - A- Jacob Hall - C-

TC Candler's Comment

n/a

Richard Propes' Comment

The Polar Express" is a visually stunning, atmospherically awesome film created from "performance capture" by filmmaker Robert Zemeckis based upon the Christmas book by Chris Van Allsburg. The film stars Tom Hanks in six roles, each one unique, interesting and well portrayed.

This is not a film I will argue over. It will work for the vast majority who see it, and will appear eerie and dark to others. I can understand both opinions, however, I found myself captivated by the visuals, the story, the characters and the action throughout the film.