Another teen-boy masturbatory fantasy...

Okay... here goes. I am preparing myself for another year of vicious, profanity-laden and hysterically defensive e-mails from the rabid fanatics who refuse to believe that these 'Lord of the Rings' movies aren't beloved by everyone. I have received well in excess of five-hundred such emails, while only receiving forty or fifty in support of my views.

Obviously, I am in the minority in this particular case. Only 17.2% of IMDb users gave the first two films anything other than an 8, 9 or 10 out of 10. Four out of five people, who regularly go to the movies, really like these films. Some are so obsessed with the film that it borders on a cult-like following.

So lets dispense with the bullshit. To save yourself some time... if you feel like sending one of 'those' emails, just type in the word "ditto" and I will get the message. Alternatively, you can be at peace with your rabid fanaticism and use your time more wisely... perhaps attending a LOTR convention dressed as your favorite character and rolling your R's when you talk to your fellow geeks.

I am also going to dispense with the plot summary... Everyone has seen it anyway, and it will just feel redundant. Frodo and Sam are walking, Aragorn and Gimli are fighting Orcs, New Zealand looks beautiful, Gandalf glows -- Yada Yada Yada.

I will admit this however... 'The Return of the King' came as close to a recommendation as any of the three. I even toyed with the idea of pushing it over the edge just to avoid at least some of the hate-mail.

The final thirty minutes of the film did enough to evoke tears from my eyes, partly from relief, partly because it was very sentimental. If the previous ten hours of material had felt more like the final denouement, I would have given the films glorious recommendations. Those last minutes were gentle and kind and emotionally powerful... it actually felt like Tolkien's work for a change.

The best acting in the entire saga came in that final act. The one that stood out the most was Sean Astin as Sam. Sam acts as our 'witness' throughout the film and I got choked up watching his character in the final scenes.

Like I said... I was close to giving in to this film, but I just couldn't do it. There were too many corny scenes, too many lulls, too many overwrought speeches, too many special effects. Don't get me wrong, some of those battle scenes were spectacular, but they also never seemed to end. I felt more exhausted than exhilarated after having watched them. And interspersed throughout the film were a couple of musical numbers, that felt very out of place, along with a few intended 'tender' moments that seemed awkward and melodramatic.

Can I give Peter Jackson any praise at all? Hell Yes! He must have worked his ass off for years to make this project happen. The amount of thought and coordination and organization that went into all of this must be mind-boggling. I respect and admire his accomplishment, but I think he was the wrong man for the job. He was concerned with the wrong aspects of the trilogy... the action, the adventure, the battles and the gore. He didn't focus on the kinder and gentler aspects of the story -- the hobbits, the friendships, the beauty, the innocence, the childlike imagination... but, of course, that would not have sold as many tickets at the box office, now would it? I think his limited and gory experience as a director hurt him in this regard. This was "his" version of the trilogy... but 17.2% of us didn't really share that vision.

Will this third installment win the Oscar this year? Probably, but I certainly hope not. I agree with Roger Ebert who said, "That it falls a little shy of greatness is perhaps inevitable. The story is just a little too silly to carry the emotional weight of a masterpiece."

Will this third installment surpass 'Titanic's' mammoth box office tally in the US and around the globe? No, not even close. You could add any two of the three film's worldwide gross and their tally would not add up to that of Titanic's total alone. LOTR is a huge box office success, but it won't change the industry in any substantial way. Perhaps we will see a few attempts to emulate the success with more fantasy adventures... it will probably become a fad like the recent Marvel Comic adaptations.

Will this trilogy go down as one of the 'All Time Greats'? Probably not. I don't believe that this film will hold up over time, even with its strongest fans. Movies with special effects of this nature usually seem dated after a decade or so, as technology continues to improve beyond our wildest imaginations. There are rare exceptions of course... but even Star Wars' fanaticism is petering out slowly... and that was the most popular fantasy adventure ever made. 'Attack of the Clones' made $120 million less than 'Phantom Menace'. I doubt that the last installment will even reach $250 million domestically.

The fact is that people grow up... they grow out of this sort of thing... it fizzles away into nostalgia. Most films that truly last and stand the test of time are based more in reality than in 'Orc-world'. That doesn't mean that a film like this can't be a wonderful diversionary escape, a fun trip to the theatre. But it does, in all likelihood, mean that it won't be remembered as a masterpiece of filmmaking.

'The Return of the King' is the best of the three... I really liked the final scenes, the farewells, the tying of the loose ends. But it still falls short of the Middle-Earth that I wanted to see, and thus I cannot rrrrrrrrecommend the film.

© Written by TC Candler

How We Rated This Film TC Candler - C+ Richard Propes - B- Jacob Hall - A

Richard Propes' Comment

n/a

Jacob Hall's Comment

In short, "LOTR: ROTK" is one of the most impressive movies I have ever seen. It's one of the few huge films that lives up to the hype and then some. As an individual film, it is now the unparalleled champion of battles, effects, and pure, emotional impact. Over the three films, we began to care for the characters, and the emotional payoff is wonderful. I teared-up at the end, because I realized, I will never meet these characters again.

Not just groundbreaking cinema, but a true achievement.