One thing that I cannot concede is that Chris Rock translates to the big screen.  Clearly, he has struggled with movies -- generating a handful of flops for every mild success.  He is no actor, and he is definitely not a noteworthy director.  His timing seems to be thrown entirely off and the material feels lethargic... And with Rock, what else is there?

"I Think I Love My Wife" is loosely based on the classic Eric Rohmer film, "Chloe in the Afternoon".  It observes the bored life of Richard Cooper (Rock), a business man who isn't getting any sex from his wife at night and is being sexually pursued by an old flame at the office during the day.  He fantasizes about what it would be like to be single again... free to partake in all the glorious splendor that is woman.

The clear and present danger comes in the form of Nikki, played by the yummiest babe I've seen in a long while -- Kerri Washington.  She shows up at his office every day, trying to tempt him away from his wife, Brenda (Gina Torres).

The film doesn't really go anywhere after that... He goes to work and is harassed by the temptress... He goes home and argues with his wife... He goes back to work.  Repeat this 20 times and there's your plot.

Eventually, this all begins to feel like a morality tale that smacks of dishonesty.  None of it feels authentic.  None of it resembles real life.  The jokes drag.  The characters are thin caricatures. The story is all a set-up for a bullshit ending that doesn't ring true at all.  It descends into an uninteresting blob of moral diarrhea.

I have to point out the single most implausible scene in the history of cinema... a scene that is less believable than anything in "Armageddon", "The Core" or "Face/Off" combined.  At one point, so seduced by the fabulously sexy Nikki, Richard goes over to her apartment, where she awaits breathlessly in her finest Agent Provocateur lingerie and devilish high heels.  She crawls into bed, begging him to indulge his every fantasy.  Having not had sex in months, he takes off his tie... he slips her panties down her flawless thighs, over her delicate skin and slips them over her sexy shoes (which she suggests she keep on).  He slowly makes his way up her legs with sensuous kisses.  He locks lips with this goddess -- one that any man would gladly lop off an appendage to be with.  AND THEN.... changes his mind!?!?!

No.  No way.  No way in hell did that just happen!!!

Why?  Because he thinks of his wife and realizes that he might love her despite all their troubles.

Some of you might think, "Hey, that sounds realistic.  That sounds like a noble and honorable thing."  Well, it is.  But have you met anyone of the human race???  Have you met a man?

Listen, I am not saying that there aren't faithful men out there... but they are the ones who would never allow themselves to get into that situation to begin with.  Those that would allow it to get that far are NOT STOPPING in mid-stream.

Anyway... enough with that lunacy.  "I Think I Love My Wife" is a dull, uninspired, repetitive, unrealistic turd that comes across as simplistically preachy.  It feels like a 13 year old trying to teach adults about love.  It feels like a convicted felon trying to show us the error of our ways.  I found the film to be offensively unfunny and condescending.