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"It's Not the Heat,
It's the Humidity..." |
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Directed by Mark Steven
Johnson - Written by
Mark Steven Johnson
Starring Nicolas Cage,
Jon Voight, Wes Bentley,
Eva Mendes
Matt Long, Sam Elliott,
Peter Fonda, Donal Logue
Distributed by Columbia -
2007 - 114m - Rated
PG-13 |
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Jacob Hall's
Review
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D- |
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There is really only one word to describe “Ghost Rider."
Shitty. |
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Yeah. Shitty. This is
the word that surfaced in my mind the most during the torture
session that was viewing this insulting, stupid and poorly made
piece of crap. This is a superhero movie that manages to make
“Fantastic Four” look like “Batman Begins.” I was truly blown away
at exactly how mind-numbingly bad this movie really is.
It has been proven that comic book films can make great cinema.
“Batman Begins,” “Superman Returns” and Sin City” being the big
examples. It has been proven that comic book films are the cream of
the crop of popcorn entertainment. The “Spider-man” movies and the
first two “X-Men” movies being the best examples. However, it seems
that most comic adaptations constantly seem to find the way to
redefine “loud, obnoxious crap for stupid people.” Look at
“Fantastic Four.” “Daredevil.” “Catwoman.” “Batman and Robin.”
There is so much wrong with “Ghost Rider” that I feel that I will
barely be able to tap the surface. Each passing moment in this movie
contains a problem with pacing, cinematography, acting and overall
presentation. The action is lousy and the acting, for the most part,
worse. The story is half-assed and barely makes sense on the first
glance, so forget about the second.
There is potential for a decent film here…”Ghost Rider” has always
been a second tier Marvel character. He’s no Spiderman, but the
devil’s bounty hunter has his fair share of fans. What this film
needs to be, and from what I understand, what David S. Goyer’s
(“Batman Begins”) original script was, is a dark, R-rated, lower
budgeted horror film that works for a smaller, niche audience rather
than pander to the crowds who have never heard of Ghost Rider.
Naturally, brave choices are rare with comic book movies, so here is
a glossy, “action packed” blockbuster with lots of CGI, slow motion
action scenes and a tacked on romantic subplot.
But the reason why “Ghost Rider” is more insulting than your average
studio-designed, formulaic blockbuster is the utter contempt this
production seems to have for the audience. It moves from “cool” set
piece to set piece, barely creating characters that accomplish even
being one-dimensional. Director Mark Steven Johnson keeps things
nice and sloppy and since Ghost Rider is presented as being an
action hero, it’s a little anti-climactic and ridiculous that his
signature power is to stare at you until you die. Batman has his
Batmobile. Superman can fly. Spider-man can web sling. Ghost Rider
can stare.
This would not be an issue in a HORROR MOVIE, but in an ACTION
MOVIE, it’s pretty damn lame. Adding to this is the fact that
throughout the entire movie, Ghost Rider only has four adversaries
(whose power seems to be briefly morphing into CGI demons and
leaping at the camera). And these four adversaries don’t even fight
back. They stand there while Ghost Rider either stares at them or
beats them with a chain. Words cannot describe how boring the action
is here. Hell, even the action in “Fantastic Four” was watchable.
There is one thing keeping this movie from an “F” and that thing is
Mr. Nicholas Cage, an odd choice for a superhero, who elevates the
movie just by injecting it with typical Cage weirdness. In a better
movie with a better script, I’d probably be singing him higher
praises. Eva Mendes proves that there is a reason why I know nothing
about her, Peter Fonda looks like he’s aware of what’s he’s in and
is just hamming it up for the camera and Wes Bentley…Lord, I can’t
even begin to explain what a horrid villain he is. No personality.
No presence. All he does is say lousy puns and jump at the camera
making his demon face. Sam Elliot provides some nice screen presence
in a small role and towards the end, he builds up a big moment that
could have been great…but abruptly leads to nothing.
Does Ghost Rider himself look good? Actually, yes. The visual
effects here are much stronger than they look in the trailers. But
that goofy, self-referential, style over substance stupidity already
evident in the trailers is much stronger here. The script is simply
inane…filled with one-liners and dialogue that seem to cater to this
film’s prime target: 12 year old boys.
Mark Steven Johnson screwed up with “Daredevil,” so it’s only
natural that the studios toss him another comic book blockbuster.
But where “Daredevil” was at least somewhat competent, “Ghost Rider”
is a mess of biblical proportions. I hated this movie. Hated it,
hated it, hated it, hated it. That’s five hates.
I hate this movie.
And that makes six. |
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© Written by Jacob Hall -
Email
Me! |
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How We Rated This Film
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TC Candler -
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No Stars |
F |
| Richard Propes
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Jacob Hall
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D- |
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TC Candler's Comment
This is a
hideous turd... a steaming pile of dung. I
actually felt sorry for myself as I sat through
the movie. It will easily rank as one of
the ten worst films from 2007. Nic Cage
can be such a brilliant actor, but with this
effort and the awful "Wicker Man" remake, he had
made two of the worst films in the past year and
a half.
Richard Propes' Comment
n/a
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