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"It Took Me 15
Minutes To Learn This
Dance Move" |
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Directed by John
Herzfeld - Written by
John Herzfeld
Starring Robert DeNiro,
Edward Burns, Charlize
Theron, Kelsey Grammer
Distributed by New Line -
2001 - 120mins - Rated R |
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Jacob Hall's
Review
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D+ |
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America likes to watch. |
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*SPOILERS WITHIN
Let's pretend "15 Minutes" is a dead body. Let us also pretend that
Robert De Niro is the electrical shock that keeps the body alive.
Well, about halfway through the film, De Niro is killed off (despite
his top billing) and his extremely incapable co-stars and an inept
writer/director do what they can: nothing.
"15 Minutes" begins with a ludicrously awful scene: two eastern
European friends are coming to America. One is a big film buff, and
makes several Frank Capra references. The other is menacing and has a
shaved head (hmmm...I wonder if he's the villain). Dialogue in this
scene attempts to be casual, but just sound dumb. Things get worse
from there on. These two bad fellas realize that they can get rich in
America by going on a killing spree, pretending to be crazy, and
getting movie rights to their life stories. Sounds...bizarre, right?
You don't know the half of it. These two bumbling, murderous fools
somehow manager to outwit New York's finest. They make obvious
mistakes and talk in the open about their plans. Are we supposed to
believe that these villains are capable of anything?
Enter a cop (DeNiro) and an arson investigator (Edward Burns, turning
in a low grade performance). They both want to track the killers down.
We are then treated to the standard "cops befriend each other" cliches
that we have seen 1000 times before. Naturally, there's a love
interest and some "plot twists" and we arrive at a conclusion that is
so stale, ridiculous, and cliched, that one can only hope to barf
rather than watch another second of it.
Most of the blame can go to John Herzfeld, who wrote and directed this
abysmal mess of a film. As a writer, he thinks himself clever with
predictable plot twists and eccentric characters. As a director, he
uses some of the worst cuts and cinematography I have seen in a while.
None of the film makes any sense.
Neither does my motivation for watching it |
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© Written by Jacob Hall -
Email
Me! |
TC Candler's Comment
n/a
Richard Propes' Comment
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