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"Auditions For
Peter Jackson's King
Kong" |
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Directed by Rob Cohen -
Written by Charles
Edward Pogue
Starring Dennis Quaid,
David Thewlis, Pete
Postlethwaite, Julie
Christie
Distributed by Universal -
1996 - 103mins - Rated
PG13 |
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Jacob Hall's
Review
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D- |
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You will believe. |
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When
watching a horrible movie, have you ever stopped to wonder whether a
member of the cast or crew realized what a piece of trash they were
making? I found myself wondering this many times during the course of
watching "Dragonheart," a perfect movie for those with ADD or those
with the attention span of a goldfish on crack.
The story has something to do with a knight (Dennis Quaid) who seeks
out and destroys dragons after one of them supposedly poisons the mind
of his king and trainee. He soon meets his match in a rather
experienced dragon named Draco (voiced by Sean Connery). Rather than
kill each other, they become friends and go fight the evil king
together.
I like dragons. I think that they are cool mythical creatures. It's a
shame no one can make a good movie about them! The problems with "Dragonheart"
seem infinite, but here goes.
The acting is some of the worst I have ever seen. I usually really
like Dennis Quaid, but here he is simply dreadful, yelling his lines
in a phony, hoarse, tough-guy tone. I've seen Quaid act really well,
so this can't be his fault, but the director's. Peter Postlethwaite is
the comic relief as a bumbling monk, but the usually reliable British
thespian seems simply embarrassed to be here. He almost pulls off a
below average performance, but I can only say that it is bad. David
Thewlis and Jason Isaacs, two other reliable actors, also give the
worst performances of their careers, doing little more than sneering.
And Sean Connery seems to be sleepwalking with his emotion-free vocal
performance.
I can only think to blame director Rob Cohen for this mess of a film.
With a cast this good, it takes a great director to screw it up. There
seems to be little motivation for anything. Characters do things that
don't make any sense, and often the action takes place off-screen with
cheesy sound effects to save money. Mr. Cohen has thankfully directed
little since this film. I also must add that the writer's careers have
dwindled.
Perhaps the visual effects were the saving grace when this film was
first released, but they look cheesy and bad today. This could be
forgiven because of the recent advantages in computer technology, but
when "Titanic" (one year later) and "Jurassic Park" (three years
earlier) still look extremely impressive today, this can't be
forgiven.
Toss in some horrendous choreography, cringe-worthy dialogue, and some
suicide-inducing comic relief, and you have "Dragonheart." I honestly
can see no redeeming value in this film at all, and it only doesn't
receive an "F" because it failed to offend me on some level.
That's one thing they got right. |
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© Written by Jacob Hall -
Email
Me! |
TC Candler's Comment
n/a
Richard Propes' Comment
Rob Cohen
IS a better director than Uwe Boll.
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