Don’t worry
if you’re concerned about being frightened by
“Dark Water.” Despite the advertising, it’s not
a horror film. It’s not even scary. I wouldn’t
even say that it is creepy in the least bit. Of
course, that’s okay if it’s an engaging
drama…but it’s not. Despite an interesting
premise, a fantastic supporting cast, and the
second most beautiful woman working in film
today in the lead role, “Dark Water” is a total
bore and a complete waste of time. I mean,
what’s the point in having Jennifer Connelly in
your film if you’re not even going to have a
scene where you put her on a dock? (Like in
“Dark City;” Oh man, “Dark City” is great)
The plot is about a woman named Dahlia
(Connelly), who is divorcing her husband (Dougray
Scott) and is forced to move to a new apartment
with her daughter. Not only is the new apartment
a great bargain, but it is dirty, dank, and
haunted by the ghost of a dead little girl.
Soon, mother and child must protect themselves
from a creepy kid ghost who may or may not want
to do them harm (Like in “The Ring;” Oh man,
“The Ring” is creepy).
As I have already made clear, “Dark Water” is
not a horror film. It is a very boring drama
that moves at a snail’s pace and had me
regularly checking my watch by the halfway
point. Adding to the boredom, the script is
filled with numerous scenes of
“characterization” that do little more than take
up screen time and bore the audience. Do we
REALLY need to see Connelly go to a job
interview and get the job when it literally adds
nothing to the narrative in the least? The few
moments that ARE creepy come late and really
don’t make any sense. In the last act, new names
and characters are suddenly thrust at us and
made important so quickly that before it could
register, I was scratching my head. The final
act does stop being boring, but it starts being
sloppy and unrefined. This begs a question.
Which is preferable: well made boredom or
sloppy, but eventful confusion? Quite an
interesting question. I wish the film had
decided to tackle one of that magnitude (Like
the questions asked in “Garden State;” Oh man,
“Garden State” is great).
In addition to being boring and confusing, “Dark
Water” breaks key rules in both genres in tries
to belong to. The horror side of “Dark Water”
has a large number of false scares and long
sequences that TURN OUT TO BE DREAMS. The last
movie I saw that had entire horror sequences
play out as reality and then turn out to be
dreams for apparent reason other than for no
other way to end it was “Jaws: The Revenge.” In
the drama department, “Dark Water” introduces
numerous interesting supporting characters, sets
them up for a payoff and then…doesn’t payoff.
Take Tim Roth’s character, Connelly’s lawyer,
for example. He’s apparently homeless, living
out of his car. He lies to Connelly, telling her
he has a family, but he spends his evenings by
himself. What of it? Nothing. Nothing comes of
it. His character has no pay off. He just fades
out of the film and has so significance to what
occurs whatsoever. Roth does what he can with
the role and once again proves what a
brilliantly underrated actor he is, but watching
him in such a poorly written role, I got the
urge to watch him in something else (Like in
“Reservoir Dogs;” Oh man, “Reservoir Dogs” is
great).
Strange that a script this weak attracted such a
cast. Despite the script limitations, John C.
Reilly (A long way from “Magnolia”) steals the
show as the worst real estate agent I’ve ever
seen. Reilly manages to be funny and interesting
for every second of his 15 or so minutes of
screen time. Rounding out the cast is Peter
Postlethwaite, who is unintentionally hilarious
playing a character with an indistinguishable
accent. His Russian-German-Italian man reminded
me of how he played a Japanese man in “The Usual
Suspects” (Oh man, “The Usual-“
You get the point. All “Dark Water” managed to
do was remind me that I was in a movie theatre,
my butt was numb and all of the movies I have
listed above are sitting on my DVD shelf at
home. I’m not scoring “Dark Water” lower mainly
because it’s not “Fantastic Four.”
Thank God for that!
©
Written by Jacob Hall
TC Candler's Comment
I like
both the American and Japanese versions... They
are equally creepy and effective.
Richard
Propes' Comment
n/a
