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"Nicolas Cage +
Mullet = Action Hero." |
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Directed by Simon West -
Written by Scott
Rosenberg
Starring Nicolas Cage,
John Malkovich, John
Cusack and Steve Buscemi
Distributed by
Touchstone - 1997 - 115
mins - Rated R |
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Jacob Hall's Review
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C- |
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Lots of 'splosions and gunfire!
A Michael Bay film!
No? |
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"Con
Air" has one thing going for it: it's not directed by Michael Bay.
It's directed by Simon West, whose direction is similar to that of
Bay's, but it never quite reaches the ludicrous levels of stupidity
that flow from a Bay film. Technically, West is yet another director
inflicted with Michael Bay Syndrome.
The story involves a plane that is flying a bunch of convicts to
prison. The prisoners revolt and take the cops hostage. It's up to a
prisoner being flown home to his family to save the day. It's a pretty
unoriginal premise, but it could have been fun if executed properly.
The film never executes. It just shoots itself in the foot by
contradicting itself and not making sense when it should make sense
and making sense when it shouldn't make sense. The cast is good, but
the characters aren't. John Malkovich actually makes a pretty good
villain. He is deadly and psychotic, and he makes the character almost
work...but he is poorly written, and his motives don't seem to make
any sense. Steve Buscemi plays a serial killer described in Hannibal
Lecter clichés, but when we meet him he's a nice guy who ends up
supplying comic relief and becomes one of the good guys. Buscemi is a
great actor, so he makes this almost work, but the key word is ALMOST.
John Cusack is in this, but he does so little and has such little
relevance to the plot, I can't tell you anything about him because I
don't remember. Nicolas Cage is the hero, but his character is so
poorly written and Cage's acting is so bad (one of the worst accents
EVER), that he becomes a bigger source of comic relief than Buscemi.
Like a Michael Bay film, "Con Air" is filled with pointless action
scenes, plot "twists" you can see a mile away, and characters with no
motivation other than to kill the bad guy or get away with their evil
deeds. The cinematography is standard modern action stuff, AKA,
chopped into fast cuts. I really did think that Bay directed this
until I looked it up on the IMDB, where I also realized that Jerry
Bruckheimer produces. Silly me, that explains everything...especially
the Razzie Award for "Worst Reckless Disregard for Human Life and
Public Property."
I'm not flunking this film for the same reason I didn't flunk
"Armageddon": It's stupidity ends up being mildly entertaining in the
end. I can only laugh as the film tries to make it's characters three
dimensional. I can only laugh as the film enters it's 6th climax and
makes the viewer wonder "When will the overlong thing end?" I also
found myself laughing during a scene where Buscemi sings "I've Got the
Whole World in My Hands" as the plane he is in is exploding and
crashing (don't worry, he survives, despite the fact that he is
introduced as a vicious child murderer; by this point, he is only the
comic relief).
If this is one TV and I have nothing to do, I will watch a few minutes
just to laugh at it. That is the only thing this movie is worth...that
is, unless you liked "Armageddon," then by all means, see this movie. |
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© Written by Jacob Hall |
TC Candler's Comment
I fucking
loathe this movie... It is one of the lowest
examples of trashy-cinema. To call it a
popcorn action flick is to forgive the atrocity
of its ineptness.
No actor
fluctuates more than Nic Cage. He can
range from an A+ performance (Adaptation &
Leaving Las Vegas) to an F performance (Con Air
& Face/Off). His sickening earnestness and
horrific southern accent are laughable in this
film. The story is so insanely
over-the-top that no tension is achieved
throughout the movie.
Is it any
shock that cinematic plague, Jerry Bruckheimer
is the culprit behind this embarrassing flick?
Nine out of ten films that he is involved with
are simply abysmal.
All I can do
when I watch this film is shake my head and
marvel at the stupidity of the typical
movie-going public... If you give this film a
pass, you can have absolutely no complaint about
the state of Hollywood moviemaking in this day
and age. This is one of the ten worst
mainstream films of all time. It is a
hyperactive and smug little turd that deserves
to be flushed away forever.
Richard
Propes' Comment
Can you
say "popcorn action flick?"
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