In the massive, money guzzling, fanboy pleasing, consumer friendly, box office enlarging wake of "Lord of the Rings," I just knew it wouldn't be long before a film came along and completely ripped off Peter Jackson's trilogy.

Before you say it: Yes, I am aware that "The Chronicles of Narnia" is based on the "beloved masterpiece" by CS Lewis. When I saw "ripped off," I don't mean in story...I mean in style, tone and direction. Although I have not read the source novel, I highly doubt it was exactly the same as "Lord of the Rings." "Chronicles" somehow manages to take the same shots, similar locations and even similar line delivery from the LOTR films and place them here. I am not talking about occurrences that strike me coincidental, either. Sweeping helicopter shots over ridges that our heroes walk along that are IDENTICAL to LOTR. A final battle (that I have heard, was barely fleshed out in the book) that feels like it took the flashiest bits of ever LOTR action scene and tried to compile them (including the "charge toward each other in slow motion with no noise so the sudden collision and sound will surprise the audience" gag). There's the problem with "Chronicles." It's lazy. It's rushed. And to top things off on a completely different level, and mind-numbingly boring.

Do not feel that I am being overly harsh...for the first 45 minutes or so, I was enjoying myself. The film opened with a depiction of the London blitz that, for it's PG rating, managed to be quite intense. There, I met the Pevensie children who are sent to a home in the country to be safe from the horrors of World War II. At the new house, they discover a wardrobe that leads to another world where the evil White Witch (Tilda Swinton) is holding the land of Narnia under a spell. Let the battle begin.

With seven books in the series, this could have become a very profitable and entertaining franchise: the kiddie attraction of Potter and the fanboy attraction of LOTR. The first, and definitely biggest mistake in killing this film was handing it to director Andrew Adamson, whose previous credits (the "Shrek" films) certainly do no help his case. The second biggest mistake was hiring the visual effects out to numerous different companies. None of the CGI critters and monsters that inhabit the land of Narnia look consistent. Some creatures are overly cartoonish, others realistic, other abstract but not cartoonish...the result is that this is obviously not a real, breathing world.

At 144 minutes, "Chronicles" feels like 244. As mentioned above, it's fine for awhile, but once the story settles into Narnia (where things should really get rocking), the road instead gets rocky, and we are treated to plently of cheesy talking animals, piss-poor comic relief (mostly in the form of a dwarf who serves no purpose to the story) and...SANTA CLAUS! With weapons!

Whoa...to much, without a strong captain at the helm. The studios will be wise to ditch Adamson for the next installment. Chances are, I won't be there.

© Written by Jacob Hall

How We Rated This Film TC Candler - C+ Richard Propes - C+ Jacob Hall - C-

TC Candler's Comment

n/a

Richard Propes' Comment

Okay, Okay. I suppose because I'm a minister I'm supposed to embrace this film just like the entire Christian community seemed to do. Hmmmm. Well, I'm sorry but I simply can't offer it a wholehearted endorsement. While the script is workable, I found the performances relatively bland. For some reason, Swinton's performance didn't register. Being that I consider myself a huge Swinton fan, this was a mega surprise.