The funny
thing about "Cellular" is that it is not that
different than most action films released with
hopes of attracting a teenage audience. It's not
uncommon for your average mainstream action film
to contain what "Cellular" contains: the young,
rising-star hero, the one-dimensional villain,
slow-motion action sequences, the now mandatory
use of one "F" word...you know exactly what I'm
talking about. One positive thing can be said
about "Cellular": it is creative.
Based on a story by Larry Cohen (who wrote the
fascinating film "Phone Booth"), "Cellular" is
about a young man named Ryan (Chris Evans), who
receives a phone call from Jessica (Kim Basinger).
She has been kidnapped, and she has twisted a
few wires on a broken phone and dialed a random
number. Now, only Ryan can save her, but he must
first overcome multiple obstacles.
With a premise this fresh and with so many
different ways to go with it, one would expect
"Cellular" to be a great movie. With a cast that
includes Kim Basinger (An Oscar winner for "LA
Confidential"), Chris Evans (who's really quite
entertaining), Jason Stratham (who simply oozed
charisma in "The Italian Job") and William H.
Macy (one of the few actors living today who has
never given a bad performance), this should be a
great movie. Unfortunately, the script is filled
with ridiculous dialogue, embarrassing comic
relief, "plot twists" that a first grader could
predict in the first ten minutes, and some
irritating supporting characters who exist for
only God knows why: they don't serve the story
in any way.
Take the worst scene in "Cellular." Ryan's car
is destroyed, and he steals the car of a "comic
relief" character, an obnoxious lawyer. What the
character says is not funny, but a little while
later, the character returns only to repeat the
same basic schtick again, with once again, no
laughs.
Basinger and Macy give performances that belong
in a better movie, especially Basinger, who is
simply on fire. I shook my head for Macy,
though, who character, a cop, gets to perform
the mandatory action "slow motion dive while
firing pistol" scene. When one of America's
finest actor is doing what low-grade actors like
Keanu Reeves have done before, then you know
something is horribly wrong.
"Cellular" is a sad movie. I enjoyed the
previews before the film more than I enjoyed the
film itself. I'm not failing "Cellular" because
it does have it's moments (few, though).
Moments, like the performances by the actors,
that belong in a better movie. In the end, it's
not a TERRIBLE movie, it's just a horrendously
mediocre one.
A little movie called "Collateral" is getting
ready to leave theatres after a decent run. It's
wonderfully directed, brilliantly acted, and one
of the best thrillers to come along in quite
some time. Skip "Cellular" and go see a film
that is worth the time, money, and effort.
Perhaps if films like "Collateral" make more
money, then films like "Cellular" will not be
made quite so often.
©
Written by Jacob Hall
TC Candler's Comment
Not
horrible! It is an easy way to spend 90
minutes, but I doubt the film will live long in
the memory.
Richard
Propes' Comment
Lately, it
seems like Basinger has been making me cringe
more often. I sometimes wonder why. "Cellular"
is why.
