Wow,
I didn't see that coming! Oh wait... Yeah,
I did.
A
disappointingly implausible "stand-off" movie,
"Assault on Precinct 13" employs all the usual
coincidences, plot twists and timely exposition
that can be seen in dozens of straight to video
Van Damme / Seagal efforts each year.
The only things that really elevate this film
above the fray are some decent performances from
Ethan Hawke, Drea di Matteo, Lawrence Fishburne
and Maria Bello.
However, there are some truly squalid
performances in this film too. Most notable
among the dreadful bunch is Gabriel Byrne, who
is laughably clownish as the one-liner spouting
bad guy. I was also disturbed to have to sit
through an obnoxious turn by John Leguizamo and
an embarrassing effort by Ja Rule. I am getting
sick of studios handing out the token black 'gangsta'
role to famous rappers. Not one of them is any
good.
The stand-off in this movie is about as
implausible as it can get. Apparently, even
though their lives depend on it, dozens of
highly trained SWAT team members and other
assorted cops can't break into a dilapidated old
police house defended by a drunk cop, a few
civilians and a handful of convicts.
The final third of the film is riddled with
coincidences that had become clichéd in action
movies by the mid-1940's.
This movie is obviously nothing more than
popcorn entertainment, so its goals are not set
very high. It almost achieves that very dismal
goal, and for that I can avoid a D rating. But
it is not a film I will be able to remember a
few days from now and I will have no desire to
bother with it again some day.
AOP13 is a cross between Die Hard 2 and SWAT,
but it is nowhere near as good as the first and
not nearly as bad as the second.
©
Written by TC Candler
Richard
Propes' Comment
"Assault on
Precinct 13" is yet another in a long line of
unnecessary remakes. While one would be
hard-pressed to consider the original film
anything special, the subject matter alone makes
the film destined for mediocrity. Ethan Hawke
and Maria Bello elevate the film considerably,
but the film is really just your average,
run-of-the-mill action thriller. It offers
nothing new to the genre, and nothing new to
moviegoers.
Jacob
Hall's Comment
N/A
