On a certain
level "Anaconda" appears to be the perfect film
vehicle for the over-acting, histrionic
expressions of Jennifer Lopez. Yet, miraculously
enough, even Lopez is above this melodramatic
tripe that is part action/thriller, part horror
and nearly all cinematic trash.
There is one writer on IMDB that expressed it
perfectly- "The visual effects are as exciting
as June Allyson undressing." I'm not sure I
could say it any better, and it's an incredibly
accurate description. Furthermore, one need only
see this film to be reminded why Jon Voight's
career took a nosedive. Voight, in particular,
has always fallen into histrionics with weak
material and it doesn't get much weaker than the
script for "Anaconda."
Yet, in reality, Voight is not alone here with
remarkably inept performance. The aforementioned
Lopez is simply horrid here, along with Ice
Cube, Eric Stoltz and virtually anyone else who
makes an appearance.
So, what do you get when you cross a weak
script, bad acting, goofy special effects and
choppy cinematography?
Let's check the scorecard:
Eric Stoltz: F
Jennifer Lopez: D (saved by her bootie)
Ice Cube: B
Jon Voight: F
Jonathon Hyde: C
Owen Wilson: C-
Kari Wuhrer: Incomplete
Special Effects: D
Overall, we're left with an easily "D" range
film saved only by a couple slightly energetic
performances and the overall campiness of the
film itself. Whatever your film preference, you
can likely find a much better example of it than
"Anaconda."
There are times in life when it sucks to be a
film critic...In fact, it's occasionally
downright painful. The life of a critic is not
all Oscar winners and brilliant cinema. In fact,
much of the time we are left to wax eloquent
about the equivalent of cinematic drool. In this
case, cinematic drool would be a step up.
©
Written by Richard Propes
|
How We Rated This Film
|
TC Candler -
|
 |
D+ |
| Richard Propes
- |
|
D+ |
|
Jacob Hall
- |
|
|
|
TC Candler's Comment
When Voight
lets that last wink go, I almost let my bladder
go from laughing so hard. I'd love to say
that it's so bad that it's actually good... but
it isn't bad enough for that.
Jacob
Hall's Comment
N/A
