Razzie Frontrunners for 2006

Unlike recent years, when Razzie voters like myself had one or two obvious film choices when voting for the worst of the year's cinematic underachievers, this year's Razzie line-up appears too close to call. Several films were noticeably bad, but none garnered quite the attention of past Razzie winners such as "Catwoman," "Freddy Got Fingered" and a variety of Sly Stallone or Bruce Willis flicks. A few films do seem to be frontrunners to be announced as nominees by the Golden Raspberry Foundation when nominations are announced on January 30, 2006. This year's 10 frontrunners include:

1. "Alone in the Dark": Has Boll won a Razzie yet? Even if not, he's surely due with this laughable video-game inspired film starring Christian Slater and Tara Reid. Reid plays someone of great intelligence, a definite acting stretch if she could only pull it off. Unfortunately, this film is a laughable disaster almost guaranteed to garner nominations for Boll, Slater (a previously talented actor), Reid (continuing to show only two signs of talent), and possibly a few others.

2. "Aeon Flux": Razzie voters have always had a fondness for humiliating past Oscar winners such as Charlize Theron. After having had Halle Berry pick up her "Catwoman" Razzie, Razzie voters could very well be primed to vote for Theron's far too outlandish, campy performance in this sub-par flick. The film also features a horrid supporting performance from last year's Supporting Actress Oscar Nominee from "Hotel Rwanda," Sophie Okonedo.

3. Though much wasn't expected from it, Razzie voters may well throw a nomination to the sub-par remake of the sub-par "The Amityville Horror" starring Ryan Reynolds. Reynolds is appropriately histrionic in his performance, which closely resembled Steven Weber's awful take on the Nicholson role in "The Shining." It could slip under the Razzie radar, but pretty boy Reynolds may sneak his way into a nomination.

4. Jenny McCarthy, former Playboy and MTV Bimbo, proves that blondes don't necessarily have more fun by writing and starring in "Dirty Love", an alleged comedy with "Freddy Got Fingered" type comedy featuring McCarthy flailing her vomit covered breasts and writhing in her menstrual blood.

5. "The Dukes of Hazzard" is a prime Razzie target with its perfect mix of box-office success and campy, sub-par performances including the likes of Jessica Simpson. Simpson may try to extend her WAY too long 15 minutes of fame by actually winning this award and showing up to receive it.

6. One can expect at least one action flick to receive nominations. Voters can choose from "Stealth", a corny action flick that Jamie Foxx made prior to last year's "Ray" Oscar win, or Michael Bay's "The Island," proof that sometimes it doesn't pay to mess with your box-office winning formula of slick action, sleek camera shots, pretty faces and a killer soundtrack. "The Island" actually tried to show some intelligence, but ended up failing miserably. If Razzie voters are feeling spiteful, we might be blessed with a "War of the Worlds" or "Revenge of the Sith" nomination.

7. Deuce Bigalow's "European Gigolo" ended up being no more than a two-bit hooker at the box-office. Might Rob Schneider be rewarded with a Razzie nomination? It could happen! Likewise, for our favorite airbrushed young lady, Lindsay Lohan, whose corny remake of "Herbie: Fully Loaded" is being scrutinized by Razzie voters.

8. It's been a rough year for Paris Hilton. She cuts it off with her best friend, has a chaotic social life, loses her dog, gets another one, and gets slaughtered in "House of Wax." Let's be honest...we like it when the rich and spoiled brats suffer a bit and may reward her rough year with a Razzie nomination.

9. Almost guaranteed to receive a nomination is the crass, tasteless "The Honeymooners," which not only didn't respect the television classic but defamed its memory.

10. "Son of the Mask" continued Hollywood's horrid trend of capitalizing on the past success of films by trying to create new cinematic bloodlines off their success. Once again, they failed. This film was early in the year, but may still have traumatized voters enough to receive a nomination.

Other hopefuls include "Doom," "Fun With Dick and Jane," "XXX: State of the Union," "Supercross," and various other flicks starring Steve Martin, Eugene Levy, Ashton Kutcher and a host of others with hit and miss cinematic histories. With 339 films to choose from, Razzie voters are busy selecting their nominations in time for the late January submission deadline.

Who Will I nominate this year? Watch this column as I share my own Razzie selections in an upcoming column. Until then, I'm back to the movies.

From The Back Row,

Richard

© Written by Richard Propes